Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I have post one night stand depression
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