at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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