i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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