he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize