I just made out with a guy for $7.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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