Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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