at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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