textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
