okay pat passed out under dana's car
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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