We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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