The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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