Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
