singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
