new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
