Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
