My boss' voice literally gives me gas
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
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