u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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