You don't have asthma, your pregnant
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
