sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
