You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
