This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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