i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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