Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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