making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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