I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
