I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
