I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
