I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
