3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize