It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
