I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
