end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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