called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
