Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
