She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
