no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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