On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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