Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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