No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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