so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize