AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
