That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
