I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
