I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
