i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
