My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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