my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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