HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
