you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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