Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
