bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
