rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
