how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
