Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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