somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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