...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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