i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you win again, gameday.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
