I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The air was thick with penises
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
