the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
