Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize